Jul 22

It’s a matter of space. God has given us a limited amount of space. He has given us just enough room in our hearts either for him or for the World, but never both. That’s why the Bible tells us that we can’t serve two masters. It’s impossible because there isn’t enough room. So what we and most other Christians have done is downsized and compartmentalized. That is, since there isn’t enough room to experience the World wholly and God wholly, then we must downsize their portions in my heart . In other words, a piece of God here - some part of the World there. And even more, we compartmentalize - some aspects of our lives are given to God, while some are still reserved for the World. It’s ingenuis, isn’t it? That way, we can have our cake and eat it, too. Well, the only flaw with that thinking is that we never truly experience the fullness of either one. Life is lukewarm and boring and uneventful and unsatisfying. So really, we need to pick one to experience wholly. We already have experienced the fullness of the World. That was our state before Jesus came into my heart. And boy, sometimes it was so much fun! But at the end of the day, it was shallow and unsatisfying. So it wouldn’t make much sense to return there. The only other option is God, or the Kingdom. The Kingdom is hard a lot of times basically because it exists in direct contradiction to the World - our first home. So because of sacrifice and transformation, it’s pretty tough. But here, we’ve experienced my heart’s deepest desires without fear. Here, we have experienced things beyond mere emotion - things that stick with us in days following, haunting us and changing us; things that reform and startle our very spirits. So, no surprise - our choice is and has been the Kingdom. God accepts this and begins the process of transformation. Looking at our state, He sees a fence-staddling, war-torn heart with no space for more. So, he looks into our hearts, finding all that is inconducive to the Kingdom - and removes it (we try to hold on sometimes, like a tug-of-war; God generally wins). And with the room created by the removal, he replaces it with its antithesis. And that replacement is much more productive. It gives life. It sustains the spirit. And two, another funny thing happens. When we’re getting filled with Kingdom stuff so much that there is hardly any room left, God spills some of the stuff He’s putting into us and it falls into other hearts around us.

My God, my God - I love you for your creativity and faithfulness - more than I could ever convey. Thank you for these words and feelings that come only every once in a great while. They help me love you more. I love you. I love you. I love you.

SRay

Jul 5

The past few months of my life have lent themselves to a certain unsatisfaction. Not only have I struggled with certain addictive behaviors, but I have this small (yet unquenchable) feeling in my heart that tells me that there is more to life than what I am living. The New Testament talks about it all the time. Jesus calls it “life to the full”. Paul calls it “freedom”. Some would argue the theological point that because the Kingdom of God hasn’t completely reached its fulfillment, this life will always be consumed with pain and struggle. I’m aware of that fact. But I am completely opposed to the way it manifests in Christianity. We take it so often to mean that we have been counted out of the fight. We don’t even try for the better part. We just settle for the crap. But when the New Testament authors, especially our Lord, talk about a life beyond what this world can offer, I have to indulge the thought that such a life makes this world’s life pale in comparison, not vice-versa. The Kingdom of God is in our hearts as of now. And with time, the more we will indulge in that reality, the more real it will become in our daily, practical lives. Certainly, there are some things beyond reach for now since the KOG isn’t complete yet; I know this from certain proddings and sensings in my heart that call me to be home with the Father. However, I will affirm that the lives we live fall quite short of where God has called us. We settle so easily - and interestingly, look up to Heaven in unsatisfaction as though to question God! He’s established the call. He’s laid down the guidelines. The rest is up to us.

SRay