Stephen Anthony Ray

It’s a matter of space. God has given us a limited amount of space. He has given us just enough room in our hearts either for him or for the World, but never both. That’s why the Bible tells us that we can’t serve two masters. It’s impossible because there isn’t enough room. So what we and most other Christians have done is downsized and compartmentalized. That is, since there isn’t enough room to experience the World wholly and God wholly, then we must downsize their portions in my heart . In other words, a piece of God here - some part of the World there. And even more, we compartmentalize - some aspects of our lives are given to God, while some are still reserved for the World. It’s ingenuis, isn’t it? That way, we can have our cake and eat it, too. Well, the only flaw with that thinking is that we never truly experience the fullness of either one. Life is lukewarm and boring and uneventful and unsatisfying. So really, we need to pick one to experience wholly. We already have experienced the fullness of the World. That was our state before Jesus came into my heart. And boy, sometimes it was so much fun! But at the end of the day, it was shallow and unsatisfying. So it wouldn’t make much sense to return there. The only other option is God, or the Kingdom. The Kingdom is hard a lot of times basically because it exists in direct contradiction to the World - our first home. So because of sacrifice and transformation, it’s pretty tough. But here, we’ve experienced my heart’s deepest desires without fear. Here, we have experienced things beyond mere emotion - things that stick with us in days following, haunting us and changing us; things that reform and startle our very spirits. So, no surprise - our choice is and has been the Kingdom. God accepts this and begins the process of transformation. Looking at our state, He sees a fence-staddling, war-torn heart with no space for more. So, he looks into our hearts, finding all that is inconducive to the Kingdom - and removes it (we try to hold on sometimes, like a tug-of-war; God generally wins). And with the room created by the removal, he replaces it with its antithesis. And that replacement is much more productive. It gives life. It sustains the spirit. And two, another funny thing happens. When we’re getting filled with Kingdom stuff so much that there is hardly any room left, God spills some of the stuff He’s putting into us and it falls into other hearts around us.

My God, my God - I love you for your creativity and faithfulness - more than I could ever convey. Thank you for these words and feelings that come only every once in a great while. They help me love you more. I love you. I love you. I love you.

SRay

The past few months of my life have lent themselves to a certain unsatisfaction. Not only have I struggled with certain addictive behaviors, but I have this small (yet unquenchable) feeling in my heart that tells me that there is more to life than what I am living. The New Testament talks about it all the time. Jesus calls it “life to the full”. Paul calls it “freedom”. Some would argue the theological point that because the Kingdom of God hasn’t completely reached its fulfillment, this life will always be consumed with pain and struggle. I’m aware of that fact. But I am completely opposed to the way it manifests in Christianity. We take it so often to mean that we have been counted out of the fight. We don’t even try for the better part. We just settle for the crap. But when the New Testament authors, especially our Lord, talk about a life beyond what this world can offer, I have to indulge the thought that such a life makes this world’s life pale in comparison, not vice-versa. The Kingdom of God is in our hearts as of now. And with time, the more we will indulge in that reality, the more real it will become in our daily, practical lives. Certainly, there are some things beyond reach for now since the KOG isn’t complete yet; I know this from certain proddings and sensings in my heart that call me to be home with the Father. However, I will affirm that the lives we live fall quite short of where God has called us. We settle so easily - and interestingly, look up to Heaven in unsatisfaction as though to question God! He’s established the call. He’s laid down the guidelines. The rest is up to us.

SRay

Deuteronomy 6:4-6 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.”

Basically Lord, let me surrender all that I am to you. My struggles and my victories. My emotions and my character. My desires. My failures. Everything, Lord. I don’t want to hold it back anymore. It’s yours. Take it. Use it. Forget it. Whatever you do, I’ll accept it. I just don’t want it anymore. I don’t want it anymore.

All I want is you. All I need is you. Please, Lord, take it all. And in exchange, give me Jesus…give me you.

SRay

The Bible says that “many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” And here, all this time, I’ve been trying to figure out what I want - what he wants. I think that maybe he just wants a yes first (Thank you SuperSummer speaker). Revelation comes later. I mean, really - can I really be satisfied trying to do something outside of what God has called me to do? The simple answer is “no”. And why? Because it would contradict my design. Dolphins love to swim. Good thing, too…seeing as they are designed for it and not much else. And we don’t see them trying to walk around or attend classes at school. Why? It negates their design. Why, then, would I negate mine and try to find my own. There’s no satisfaction in it. I certainly don’t want to sound boring and communist. It’s not like God has destined all his children to sucky stuff. On the contrary (John 10:10). Abundant life is our destiny. The problem is that we seek abundant life on our own…and come up short. We get the “well ok” life.

SRay

Well we just got back from Glorieta, New Mexico yesterday after one of the most spiritually uplifting times in my entire life. Although I was there as an adult sponsor for our students, God used the time to edify me as well, not to mention re-ignite my passion for students coming to fully know Christ.

I love times like camp because they serve to remind me of God’s good plans for his children, plans that are often eclipsed because we are so accustomed to accepting less. So keep me honest, ok? It’s time for Park Hill to reach places unimaginable through God’s grace and purpose. It’s time for our students to know God on a level that was thought to be attained only by monks and nuns. It’s time for God’s name to be glorified again, not shun and shamed by those who don’t know him (and those who do).

It won’t be easy because unfortunately, the down side of experiences like camp is that it leaves people in a place that seems so much lower than the high time just experienced. But the thing that keeps me going is the wonderful knowledge that what just went on at Camp can be an everyday thing in our hearts. God intends good things for children. The question is: will we let him work? Time will tell.

SRay