Stephen Anthony Ray

It has been a good week. My friend Landon White came into town after arriving back a few days ago from Salzburg, Austria, where he’s been a for a semester. We spent the day catching up and eating fried chicken. We even watched a movie. It was really nice. It’s really wonderful to have him back - his beard, too.

I listened to Beethoven’s entire 9th symphony the other day, too. Freaking amazing. You know, it’s nice to just sit down sometimes and listen to music - without it being a supplement to some other task.

I sang and played piano in my friend Ethan’s wedding today. It was a really nice ceremony. As always, however, it was depressing. I’m still waiting. *sigh* - but not giving up. I need a crystal ball or something.

SRay

We are free, indeed.  Nonetheless, with that freedom we often choose badly - and soon enough the harvest of the choice visits the sower.  What is worse is that sometimes the harvest itself appears (at first glance) good, carefree, and plenteous.  But to the experienced eye, what seems like plenteous wheat from afar are really (upon more detailed inspection) bundled up weeds when near.

Likewise, in life we often make decisions based merely on the immediate results they reap - not thinking nearly as clearly about how the decision will affect us in say, a few weeks, a few months, or a few years.  Worse still, we often get stuck in these patterns such that eventually the behavior isn’t elected…it’s automatic.  And that’s really scary - to think that one could reach a point where, on subconscious impulse - you live against God.

SRay

This past weekend, Matt Rose, Greg Caplan, and I took the Park Hill junior high and high school boys camping in Glenwood (by the way, I camp like a blind man shoots a gun…very poorly).  But honestly, it was wonderful.  I learned a lot about camping, paintballing, and a ton about my kids…and from my kids.

We studied about the life of Joseph in Genesis 37 through 47.  It was wonderful that I had the opportunity to write and teach the stuff to the boys because I learned so much myself - and so much of what I learned was directly applicable to own my life.  Mostly this: Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers.  Yet even then, despite a couple of hiccups (like being thrown into jail for a false accusation of rape), you see one thing over and over in the scripture: “But the Lord was with Joseph.”  And so he was.  This truth is so clear because out of every instance of seemingly bad fortune, Joseph’s life is constantly guided by God out of pain and into blessing.  Yet even still, for Joseph, he isn’t complete…not until he resolved issues with his family.  And suddenly, the darkness of his past (which he had all but forgotten) was right back in his face.  The frustration of hateful older brothers, the insecurity that stems from a nepotistic father, and one whopper of a pride issue no doubt contributed to an ever-present to remain the man that God has grown him to be.  And that is where I relate.

I understand well that God intends any hardship and struggle in my life to be an opportunity for present growth and future blessing and resolution.  What is hard is when the season of growth is over, and you return to roost…you go back to where those emotions of despair dominated your soul…you return to when pain was your best friend…back to where temptation was five seconds long - and sin was longer.  And it’s here where I am faced with the same decision with which Joseph was faced - will I regress and be the man I was?  Or will I escape my past and become the man God has grown me to be?

Funny - knowledge cannot be equated with growth…not until you add action.

SRay

Tonight after dinner I was hanging out with some good friends, Matt and JL. We went out to this pretty cool spot near the happening city of Joan, Arkansas where there is this clear lake fishing area that is beautiful at night. I guess we were just going to hang out and chew the far for a while.

Then, as Matt brought his truck to a stop (JL and I were the in the bed of the truck), we noticed some small animal following the truck and running up to us when we were stopped. I was really hoping it wasn’t some rabid raccoon or something. Actually, it was a puppy…a cute one, too; part lab, part something else. We quickly noticed that there was another puppy just a few feet from where we had parked. But he was dead. And there were two kittens eating at his flesh. Sorry I had to throw that in there, but it’s true.

Our hearts were broken at the thought that someone could irresponsibly leave these adorable animals out in the woods somewhere to fend for themselves. So Matt, JL, and I made the decision to take the puppy home to my apartment, leaving the kittens there (since cats are naturally independent and more adapt to being scavengers than dogs). We knew that the puppy wouldn’t stand much of a chance out there.

At first, though he came up to us out of curiosity and no doubt a chance to be rescued, he kept jumping out of the truck (I think that the sound of the engine frightened him). So we held him until we got to my apartment. JL went to the store to get the puppy some food while Matt and I gave him a bath and removed some ticks. He was very good in the bath and only whimpered a little bit when I removed the ticks from him (heck, I used to cry like a baby when my mom did that to me!).

Matt and I decided that he needed a name. Considering the circumstances surrounding us finding him, he named him “Chance”. We dried him off and let him walk around a little bit until JL got there with the food. He ate like a madman. So then, after chilling for a while, we decided to go to Matt’s to watch a movie. I mentioned that we should let Chance walk. “Without a leash?” said Matt. “Yeah”, I said. So we walked…and sure enough, Chance followed us around like a lost child, which I guess he was.

We watched some old SNL re-runs featuring Will Ferrell. And then we came back to my apartment tonight. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to take him to the Humane Society. I wish him the best.

Now - I didn’t write this to warm your heart (though it is a wonderful story, right?). I wrote it because I recognize in this story concerning Matt, JL, Chance, and me a huge parallel to the love of Christ as revealed in the Gospel:

Here Chance was starving and quickly on his way to a certain death when my friends and I happened along. He saw his “chance” for rescue and ran to us. We took him in, bathed him, fed him, and gave him a new name. And not once since has he let us out of his sight. Not once.

Here it is I was broken and depraved and quickly on my way to Hell when Christ happened along. I saw my chance for rescue and ran to Him. And indeed, He took me in to Himself, cleaned me off, fed me with His word, and made me a new creation.

But from here, the parallel stops. I wish that I could say that I was as faithful to follow my Savior as Chance was to follow Matt, JL, and me. But still, I fall away.

Chance saw his opportunity for rescue…and he hasn’t yet let go. I doubt he will. Ha ha…isn’t that funny?! A puppy gets it. And I still don’t. I think I might need to humble myself and become more like Chance.

SRay

Well - I’ve been back for a week and a few days now.  Of course, it has been all that I knew it would be.  It’s funny: I’ve been a lot of places…even around the world, and yet I find one thing strangely funny - coming home never gets old.  Same faces, same places, same problems…and yet I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I got to spend some time with my cousin Miguel and his friend Trae.  I ate some wonderful friend chicken prepared by my Mother, and some wonderful macaroni and cheese by my grandmother.  I stayed home Sunday night and came to Arkadelphia Monday.  I came home to a spotless room (b/c of my roommate Tyler…more on that later) and lots of hugs and love from friends at school.

About Tyler - he freaking cleaned up my room…dude, my room!  Like washed my sheets, dusted the armoire (sp?), organized stuff, and the whole bit.  Honestly, he’s an amazing friend and man of God.  I’m really lucky that he’s my roommate.

I have so much to say - but God’s been waiting all to talk to me.  I think I’d better go listen.  Love you friends.

SRay