Mar 31

Beloved Christian Brothers and Sisters at Ouachita

I have an issue that I need to discuss with you. Over the past few years during my tenure at Ouachita, I have noticed in my life and in the lives of others the development of a certain trend that has revealed its ugly head in our daily interactions - favoritism. I have never belonged to a group or clique. I am not the social club type of person. Thus, most of the people who are my friends are such out of no sense of obligation - primarily because the only “group” of which I am part is the Body of Christ, the one that is supposed to supersede all others.

Yet still, even within the Body here at Ouachita (and especially in CM), I have witnessed this favoritism phenomenon taking place. Despite the fact that we are created to be loved, affirmed, encouraged, accepted, and acknowledged by each other, the level of community that takes place here falls horrendously short of that standard and is no more biblical or mature than that of a third grade classroom where a popular student passes out invitations in class only to a privileged few (and sometimes even this is done in such an obnoxious way as to only emphasize the non-acceptance of those who were not invited).

Repeatedly, I’ve listened to the frustration of friends who were a part of this marginalized, uninvited group and have yearned for invitation…those who make comments that they hope will be witty or funny enough to gain acceptance; those who alter their personalities (only slightly) to be in line with the “invited ones” so that they will hopefully be noticed and warrant invitation, too. There are dozens of examples that you can think of, too.

And perhaps here, you’re tempted to place the blame on those attempting to gain admission - and though often the admission might be sought for incorrect reasons, the burden of blame still remains on the “invited”, considering that yearning for the love and acceptance of others (for whatever motive) cannot be seen nearly as heinous as rejecting such yearnings.

Honestly, I’ve been a part of both groups at different times. Sometimes I’ve been invited, and have rejected the yearning of others. But far more often lately, I’ve been the ignored - the unfunny - the unwitty - the only paid attention to when some gift of mine can be a favor to the invited - the uninvited. I can only think of two resolutions to this issue. One: in a practical sense, I resolve to only spend significant time with the True Body - those who love and accept me for who I am (kind of like Jesus did…and does). Two: in a theological sense, to recognize that, regardless of where the blame lies, regardless of what social dynamics cause or influence this phenomenon, regardless of what excuses and justifications and rationalizations might be thrown up, this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.

SRay

Mar 19

Tonight, the Father and I had a good chat. I realized a few things. My past doesn’t have to shape my present or my future. God’s power for me is greater than the world’s power against me. And more than anything, the Father loves me and has good plans for me. As of now, I don’t know how big they are or how small they are, whether they will involve many or involve few, whether my deep desires will be granted or be refused - but what I do know is this: God knows what is best for me, whether I choose to acknowledge it or not. And if I live according to his Word by the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit, then those good plans will come to fruition, regardless of the details. And at that point it will seem to me undeniably that those plans are what I have been made for. Indeed, God can completely satisfy me. The only questions left for me are…will I let him? Or will I continue to attempt to find satisfaction and meaning apart from Him?

Isn’t that the essence of humanity’s struggle (and consequent sin) with God anyway? - a perpetual attempt to find purpose and love apart from God. Isn’t that the ultimate fallacy - how can one find purpose and love apart from the author and embodiment of purpose and love? In fact, if one has convinced himself that he has indeed found purpose and love apart from God, he has either deceived himself or he has only attained it in such a measure that, if compared to what one could attain in Christ, could only be described as incomplete or sad.

We were created to be loved by God and to love God.

SRay