Well, I’m currently at LAX waiting for another two hours until my flight leaves for Salt Lake City. So when I first got here, I went to use the bathroom…and left my phone on the toilet paper dispenser. Came back when I was waiting for my order at McDonald’s - wasn’t there. Crap. Now, I have to get a new phone - again (I’m really happy my Mom works for Cingular).
SRay
Today was a completely amazing day:
1.) This time in my life has shown consistency in my relationship with God than any other point in my life. I say that humbly, knowing how quickly that consistency can be tested by various situations and temptations. However, let it suffice to say that God has been so good to me. And I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I can’t imagine that things will get better once I get home…but I know they will.
2.) I ran my two miles this morning, like I’ve done for nearly every morning for the last two weeks - not to mention those other points in the year that I exercised. The good news is this: just before I left for Santa Barbara, I had a check-up with my doctor. I weighed 326lb then. I weigh 310lb now. And hopefully that number will lessen this week even more. I feel great. My asthma is better. My singing is better than ever.
3.) I really don’t have a third one, other than the fact of mentioning that I am so excited about coming home on Sunday. God has put so many plans into my heart, not only for my life and relationship with Him (though that’s certainly exciting enough), but also concerning my involvement at Ouachita and at Park Hill Baptist Church. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my students. I miss good fried chicken. I really stinking look forward to coming home. I may or may not post another update before I leave - but I’m sure I will see each of you soon, God willing.
SRay
Well, my mom has left. I really it, too. I really enjoyed having Sonya, Cleater, and my mom here in Santa Barbara to visit me and see our Academy’s performance of La Bohème. One week from tomorrow, I’ll be home.
I’ll be home. I’ll be home.
SRay
I can’t tell you how good God has been to me this past week. Last week, I suddenly became dissatisfied with who I was in Christ - really, with the fact that I didn’t feel like anything was changing. I’ve had the same struggles, the same failings, the same thoughts, the same outlook, the same everything concerning God for this whole time since I received Christ at 9. As a result, I begin to become frustrated with God because I recognized a clear contrast between my life (stale; stagnant) and the life to which Christians are called and in which they are sustained (transformed; spiritually progressive). This situation very quickly became a crisis of faith for me. Here I had received Christ fourteen years ago and as of yet have not experienced any significant amount of transformation that can’t be easily attributed to the natural progression of growing. It didn’t seem to me like anything supernatural has happened in my life - and I want that…so bad.
Then, in the midst of my crisis, God brought three things to my attention:
1.) He brought to my mind the knowledge of how my refusal to let go of certain worldly desires and behavior has actually been hindering the transformation that is taking place in my life - so much so that my relationship with God has become inconsistent, lukewarm, and stale, at best. He showed me that if I truly wanted to be experience a lasting, eternal change, then I would have to let go of the temporary, shallow pleasures of this world. Easy concept: if I want to become like the eternal Christ, I have to let go of the stuff in this world, all of which will pass away.
2.) He then brought to my mind how the stagnancy of my relationship with God eventually caused me not only to adopt an inaccurate understanding of God’s character, but it also caused me to forget past experiences in my life that prove God’s unwavering faithfulness to me beyond coincidence. It’s amazing how my increasing fence-straddling lifestyle caused me to focus more on my problems than the solution, which caused me to take my eyes off God…the rest was a cakewalk for Satan. God has been so good to me. But my sin, when I couldn’t let go of it, really unfocused my vision and cause me to see things as they were not - and to miss what was.
3.) Then, lavishing his love and mercy on me, He brought to my mind dozens of remembrances where He has interacted in my life in such way that can only be described as “supernatural”…in ways that defy logic and rational explanation…in ways that can only be attributed to a good and loving God.
Now. I’m satisfied. More than ever. I can’t even recall the last time I’ve been this filled with peace and joy. Not that my struggling is finished, but that my focus has been renewed - and God is enabling me to let go of the quickly fading, and replace it with the everlasting and eternal.
I come home two weeks from today. I can’t believe how quickly my time here has passed. And how much I have learned. And how good and right God’s plans were. And how many good friends I have made. And how much I’ve been musically inspired. And how much more I want to work to become better. And how amazing working in opera is (especially when you add the orchestra).
This morning in church, I thought deeply about all that has taken place in me this last week, and an old song came to my hear:
“Somebody prayed for me, had me on their mind, took the time and prayed for me. I’m so glad they prayed - I’m so glad they prayed - I’m so glad they prayed for me”
Thank you, beloved friends and family, for who you are and how you add so much to who I am.
Thank you, God, for being good and right and patient and unsafe.
SRay
Friends
As many of you know, this has been an especially busy week for me. Last Saturday was the Opera Showcase, the opera scenes program in which I performed as Don Giovanni. Then, after a week of what seemed like endless opera rehearsals, the weekend finally came. Friday was the master class led by renowned American baritone Thomas Hampson. Though I did not sing in the master class, Mr. Hampson had requested to meet with and hear all of the baritones in the program. I sang “O vin, dissipe la tristesse” from the opera Hamlet by Ambrose Thomas So - in the end - I got to sing for, and be coached by, Thomas Hampson. He’s pretty amazing, not only as a musician, but also as a musicologist and vocal technician.
Today - the highlight of the my entire summer here in California - was the day of the Marilyn Horne Foundation Vocal Competition. It’s probably more important than the MET auditions. Why? Because at today’s audition, there were representatives from every major opera company in the United States, as well as representatives from Columbia Artists Management, Inc. And tomorrow Thomas Hampson will present a recital of European Lieder and American Art Song.
So now…to the results. There are 24 singers here at the academy. 21 performed today. 19 were eligible to win awards in today’s competition. Of the 19, six singers received awards. One was the grand prize winner…and it wasn’t me. Lol. It was Nadine Sierra, a amazingly talented 19 year old Soprano from Florida. I was one of the other five singers who received encouragement awards ($500 each). So you know what - today was a really freaking good day!
SRay
