Stephen Anthony Ray

God relates to his children corporately and personally. Thus, in defining sin, one must conclude that sin is a willful disruption (either corporately or personally) of God’s attempts to love and relate to his creation. Considering this twofold dynamic of sin, it is logical to conclude that whenever a person sins personally, the consequences that result can be felt corporately; likewise, when a group sins corporately, the results can still manifest personally.

Concerning this latter hypothetical, I bring this to mind because I’ve begun to realize that the consequences of my personal sin (that is, my sin against none but God) do not affect only me. Rather, because they affect me, they affect everyone around me.

Thus, the essential pride that stands as the center of my sin isn’t so merely because my eyes fix on myself rather than God (though that were reason enough). It is also thus because my eyes fix on myself rather than others.

SRay

Today was the best day I’ve experienced in a really long time. After getting up and doing a bit of singing through a couple of rehearsals, some friends from Ouachita (Austin and Tyler Samuelson) came up here from LA and picked me up.

We went to the Carpinteria State Beach and swam and hung out for a little while. By the way, let me mention that there was a small pod of dolphins swimming with us at the beach today. If that can’t bring a smile to your face, you should probably go jump off a cliff. OK, just kidding. It was so beautiful.

Then, we showered (separately) and changed (again, separately) and left for downtown Santa Barbara, where we dined at a wonderful little Hibachi called Something’s Fishy. It was incredible.

Really, I guess the day wasn’t made great by the stuff we did. It was made great by the fact that got to spend some good time with good friends from home - friends around whom I can be myself and friends who share some of the same interests as I do. I praise the Lord for today. It was good. It was funny. It was amazing.

SRay

Beloved Family and Friends

I’ve been here for exactly one week tonight. I have seven more to go. The experience thus far has been one that has provoked all kinds of emotions, not the least of which have been fear and a great sense of overwhelming. Let me clear it up.

Fear - New place, new faces, and a new culture in which I’m not used to living, much less being salt and light.

Overwhelmed - I have to memorize 30 pages of Don Giovanni (as Don Giovanni; and let me mention that this is mostly recitative…ask a music major, they’ll know), the entirety of La Boheme (as a cover, thank God! But I still have to know the whole opera), about three chorus numbers (not in English, mind you), and about six or seven brand new songs. Today, I just had to sit down and pray for a minute. Who knew that the real world was so stinking busy all the time?

Burdened - My heart bleeds for my music colleagues here at the academy. Most of them drink nearly every night - and not that that is a problem in and of itself. But isn’t there something that binds human fellowship and fun more than drinking? Are we really that shallow or insecure?

Confident - All of my voice lessons so far have been really encouraging. Spending time with other musicians older and younger than me who work their behinds off to accomplish their goals is really inspirational to me. It makes want to work harder and be my best.

Awe - Mountains on one side and an ocean on the other - nothing but sun in between with highs topping out at 83 or so. I can’t imagine how, with so much of His glory surrounding them, people can fail to see God in the beauty that lies right before their eyes.

Blessed - John Williams, Marilyn Horne, Warren Jones, John Churchwell, Thomas Hampson…just a few of the professionals with whom I will study or who I will get to see perform in the next few weeks. There are people who would pay with anything they have for this opportunity, and I get it for free (because of a talent that I did not earn). I am so blessed.

Challenged - Here, most people aren’t evangelical Christians. Most are either apathetic or atheist. I pray that I can live my life in such a way that the reality of God’s existence and plan for his children would be evidenced by my example.

Thanks for checking in. Know that Jesus loves you - and that love can change everything.

SRay

Today I had a first real voice lesson with Marilyn Horne (you should google and wikipedia her). It was pretty cool. I’m excited about the amount of stretching that I’m going to receive here. I should know a few more roles and I should really really have a lot more music under my belt. I’m excited about the amount of professional push that I’m getting out of this place.

Besides all that, God is good. He has always been - but often my heart has been too hard to notice it. I love the Lord and thank Him for being faithful to me even when I am unfaithful to him. To be secure in knowing that my mistakes don’t dictate the amount of love that God lavishes on me is incredible - and foreign to humanity. He spent these first few days softening my heart and renewing in me a passion for knowing and loving Him and His Word, as well as knowing and loving other people.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support.

SRay

I came into Santa Barbara last night just before ten. Since then, in almost 24 hours, my world has been so enlarged that I am already having a pretty tough time not being overwhelmed. Here are some thoughts.

1.) It really gets cool here at night. They don’t really tell you that - they only tell you how amazingly wonderful it is during the day (and it is). If you ever come out here, bring a jacket.

2.) There are people here literally from all over the world - China, Canada, Spain, and the like. Different cultures and different languages…same creator. It’s amazing to know that God’s imagination and plan for humanity includes the fact that we are not all the same - rather, we think differently, we eat differently, we love differently. And what still amazes and encourages me is that the Gospel is still relevant, regardless of who you are and what culture you live in.

3.) That said, I am having a really difficult time resolving the issue of why some choose to ignore the question of eternal destiny. In my short time here, I have already begun to meet people who I’m sure will turn into lifelong friends. However, I cannot help but grieve over the lives that some of them have chosen. For some, their choices contain an abundance of uncommitted sex and drunken bliss…along with an thirsty emptiness that their “fun” could never quench. For some, it is a strong devotion to music…so strong that music itself is their end. For some, it is the adoption of some post-modern belief system that attempts to resolve the universal need for loving and accepting each other while simultaneously leaving out the author and manifestation of that love, Jesus Christ; and while such an adoption is admirable, it does nothing to prepare and save souls.

4.) Of late, I have been debating with some good friends about Calvinism. I myself am not a Calvinist - for me, that theology seems to negate the loving essence of God’s character (not to mention it seems to negate common sense). But one thing in the Calvinist’s corner that I’ve seen more in the last few hours than ever before…Calvinist theology sure makes it a lot easier to keep to yourself and not worry about the destiny of others, rather than becoming deeply grieved over people’s resistance to the Truth as well as the question of how in the world one person can be salt and light among so many turned off hearts.

5.) Am I really committed to preaching this Gospel because I believe it to be true and have seen its Truth at work in my life? Or am I only doing so because it makes me uncomfortable when others around me don’t believe something that I do? The recent inconsistency in my faith has forced me to ask this question - and it’s so uncomfortable. It has forced me to realize this: I have to own and believe my faith even if I am the only one doing so. If it’s real, I should have no reason to be uncomfortable with others’ denial of the Truth. Furthermore, the Truth, as sure as the tide, better be changing my life if I’m going to preach and recommend it to others.

6.) I walked to the Ocean today. All I could do was close my mouth and silently admire the majesty and immensity of God’s creation.

SRay