Feb 24

It’s morning on the day of the Metropolitan Opera National Council Auditions Grand Finals.  It’s 9:00am and I am about to make my way down to the opera house here in thirty minutes.  Normally, with an audition this big, I am pacing back and forth, sweating, and praying excessively (were there such a thing).  However, this morning my soul is at peace - and I think I know why.  Something happened last night that really put this competition (not to mention my career) into its proper place in the list of priority and perspectives.  A good friend from high school, Derek DiBlasi, lost his father (Frank DiBlasi).  He called me and we prayed together just before it happened.

Things like this help me to understand about the vocation to which I have been called.  Number one - vocal technique, character analysis, aural balance, and all those other “opera” things I’m worried about really don’t seem to matter right now.  Neither does this competition.  What matters is that I need to be there for my friend - and to pray for his family.  Number two - opera is focused on imposing smiles, laughs, tears, frowns, deep thoughts and profound meaning into the lives of its listeners and watchers.  I can think of no other event outside of death that brings the immense importance of these things to the surface.  Life is short.  Music is a great gift from God that helps our souls express emotions and communicate with ideas and beings that remain beyond our grasp in the utilization of simple speech or thought.

My task is great and small; small because I will not forget my friend, Derek - great because my obligation here is to perform an art that transcends death and life.  I dedicate my performance today to the memory of Frank Diblasi and to the Diblasi family.

SRay

Feb 18

Friends, I am happy to inform you that I have advanced, along with eight other singers, to the Metropolitan Opera National Council Auditions Grand Finals Concert to be held February 24, 2008 at 3:00 pm.  I honestly can’t believe it.  I’m living in a dream right now - and it’s amazing!  Thanks be to God.  I will have the pleasure of singing with the accompaniment of the Metropolitan Opera orchestra under the direction of Maestro Stephen Lord.  What a day!  What an amazing day.

SRay

Feb 16

Well, tomorrow is the big day.  I will participate (for the second and final time) in the Metropolitan Opera National Council Auditions National Semi-finals.  It is a big day for the rest of my life.

I’m sitting here in the hotel.  I just popped the window a little bit; the room’s kind of hot.  Just got done shaving my head.  It’s about time for bed.  And per usual, I rest here with a great bit of anxiety in my heart about tomorrow.  And not because I’m particularly nervous about tomorrow’s competition.  Really, I’m nervous about the fact that I am going to pray tonight - for the first time in a few days.  This has been the trend: I pray sparingly.  Competition comes.  Prayer increases.  I win.  Prayer falls back to its familiar spot in my life.

How queer that something that should be so familiar to me would be so foreign.  I love God, yet I only talk to Him when I need something.  I feel so ashamed.  For over and over God has shown me favor and kindness - and over and over I have returned to my stubborn ways.  Update tomorrow.

SRay