Well, tomorrow is the big day. I will participate (for the second and final time) in the Metropolitan Opera National Council Auditions National Semi-finals. It is a big day for the rest of my life.
I’m sitting here in the hotel. I just popped the window a little bit; the room’s kind of hot. Just got done shaving my head. It’s about time for bed. And per usual, I rest here with a great bit of anxiety in my heart about tomorrow. And not because I’m particularly nervous about tomorrow’s competition. Really, I’m nervous about the fact that I am going to pray tonight - for the first time in a few days. This has been the trend: I pray sparingly. Competition comes. Prayer increases. I win. Prayer falls back to its familiar spot in my life.
How queer that something that should be so familiar to me would be so foreign. I love God, yet I only talk to Him when I need something. I feel so ashamed. For over and over God has shown me favor and kindness - and over and over I have returned to my stubborn ways. Update tomorrow.
SRay
