Stephen Anthony Ray

I am at Super Summer JV - Arkansas, an amazing Christian camp with about 6 bizillion screaming, annoying middle school kids.  It’s hosted by Ouachita Baptist University, where I received my Bachelor’s in music.  I am in my room at Daniel North (I haven’t been here since my freshmen year of college).  Outside in the hall, I can hear the manifestation of weeks of anticipation, excitement, and anxiety - unfortunately, they manifest as loud yells, clopping footsteps, and obnoxious feats of dare-devilism.

1 camp; 4 days;  900 student; 0 drugs…lol.   I think that I will need your prayers, friends.

SRay

Watch ye therefore; you know not the day, when the Lord shall call your souls away

If you labor, striving for the right, you shall wear a golden crown.

And just as soon as my feet strike Zion, I’m gonna lay down my heavy burdens.

I’m gonna put on my robe in glory; I’m gonna shout and tell the story

of how I came over hills and mountains, and went up to the Christian fountains.

And all of God’s sons and daughters will be drinking the healing waters.

And I shall wear a golden crown.

I’m gonna move on up a little higher; I’m gonna meet with the Hebrew children.

I’m gonna move on up a little highter; I’m gonna meet with Ol’ man Daniel.

I’m going out sight seeing in Buelah; I’m gonna march around the alter.

I’m gonna walk and never tire; I’m gonna fly and never falter.

And I shall wear a golden crown.

Watch ye, therefore; you know not the day, when the Lord shall call your souls away

If you labor, striving for the right, you shall wear a golden crown!

Yesterday evening, my mom and dad brought me to Arkadelphia (I wrecked my car and had been borrowing mom’s for a while).  Without missing a beat, my mom automatically went into the kitchen and started washing dishes while my father helped bring in some of my stuff from the van.  A while later, we listened to a recording of a recent concert I gave in Benton in which I honored my mother and grandmother on the stage (it was Mother’s Day).  I was arranging some of the things we brought in and turned around to notice that both my mother and father were crying.  I was like, “What are y’all crying for?!”  The best I could get was that parents just do that sometimes when their babies are growing up and they’re all proud.

It was one of those moments that maybe only comes every few years.  And they are somehow so transcendent that they immediately show all life’s struggles and pain  and frustration and tenacity of unforgiveness for what they really are…filler and finished, should you accept it.  I loved that moment yesterday.

My parents left.  And part of me left with them, though I stood still on the front porch.

SRay

Well, right now I am sitting in my office working on a paper for next week.  The boys and Matt (Rose) are playing hide-and-seek using the entire church.  I’ll be honest - these knuckleheads drive me insane.  They don’t listen.  You have to tell them everything three or four times before they’ll obey you.  Their actions are characterized by an impromptu randomness and spontaneity that simply cannot be explained without expletives.  They have these crazy, insecure mood swings and are amazingly sensitive (which of course is masked by an all too obnoxious shell of overcompensation).  

And the truth is…I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Being a youth pastor has been the single greatest joy of my life thus far.  Right when I think that they never listen or that my work is done in vain, I see something - some action or some kernel of growth in character (albeit slowly) - that drives me on to keep pouring.  And I’ve come to realize over the years that youth ministry is much like the planting of a seasonal crop.  You plant and see immediate growth followed by long seasons of redress and quickening and chastizement and replanting and uprooting.  And then, it grows again - but bigger.  And bigger.  And bigger still until the consistency of the plant abandons its seasonal lifestyle and becomes an evergreen.

They say that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.  I’ll be starting Grad school at Rice University in August, and I’ll lose all this craziness - this untradable, priceless craziness - for the institutionalization of academia once again.  I don’t have to wait until then.  I already see what I’m missing.  I miss them already.

SRay

I want to thank my good friend and web designer Aaron Harp for the new look and format of my website!  Firstly, Aaron is simply a great friend.  But secondly, he is also a wonderful, very talented guy whom God has gifted in the area of technical expertise.  Just look around - you’ll see what I mean.  If you get a moment, check out his website at www.aaronharp.com.  Thanks again, Aaron!

SRay